I’m not done with expressing my unhappiness towards you. Egoistic, Selfish.

Sometimes it’s a wonder why I could even be facing this with you . What is it with me that I realize it after a long time . I don’t wish to compare but you make my life miserable . In a way that I may not seem to be the girl for you .

Perangai sungguh taq perlu kay b …

Your friends means a lot of things to you right .

Yeah , den I guess you share the same girl with your buddies kay mate .

Not being rational , darn it .

I can’t help but think that why are you even like this . I won’t blame you luh hunx but seriously before you hooked up with another girl . Change your fucking behaviour .

You can have my support in anything but seriously I think that it will all go to waste . Should I be hating you coz of this ?

I’m 19 , ain’t 16 or 17 , where you can instruct me what to do .Coz apparently , if I am of

that age , there is still a lot for me to learn .

Self-centred , yes . Maybe you don’t notice it but what is it with you that make me suffer this way . I was not brought up this way . Even ibu and ayah don’t teat me this way .

Each time we have companies , you change . You pressurized me into being the best in people’s eyes .It’s like as if I don’t exist in your eyes . You expect me to be mindful what I say . Come on larhx , even kawan you kena maki dengan matair dia . What’s the big deal about you that I need to save your ‘face ‘ ?? You’r my boyfriend , the least thing that you could do is show some respect towads me . Not embarrassed me in front of your friends .If I did say something inappropriate , you could just either laugh it off or just shut the hell up . Instead of ,

‘ Sudahluh you , jgn nak merepek ‘ or even worse ‘ You jangan naq mcam2 boley taq ‘ .

Kimek , taq pena pun satu jantan buat gini mcm kat aku.

Breaking up with you would only mean , I’m a coward .

Fearful to face the reality . You need my support to change ??

Apparently , you didn’t think well before having a realationship . Don’t make promises that night towards me if you think that you’r not up to it .

Depan mmbrs kaw, kaw dah mcm gini . Naq mara2 aku , training ??

Beh kaw expect dh kawin , kaw naq aku ikot kn cakap kaw jerhx . Please luh , I was brought up in a home of free speech .I’m not comparing to the way we both are being brought up . I don’t want to listen to what people say . I don’t want to be skeptical ,

“ Cepat pukol bini , darah panas , demanding “

Should I be the laughing stock at the end . Help me prove them wrong . I’m the one who should have the most support . Mr F , I’m too tired to think about this kind of things anymore . I can forgive but I can’t forget . Fights won’t happen for no reason . Maybe partly I’m to blame for this but I am not that strong to face it alone .

There’s more to this , I know my dear . Before you want me to respect you , respect your own self . I don’t need your public affection or your tender loving care in front of people . I just need your fucking attention. Sometimes, I am glad those people txted me when I didn’t get your attention . At least , it make me less mad at you . . Think about it b …